10.17.2008

...i've given about all that i can give, in your hands...

Well it certainly does not feel good now nor ever when you lay your hopes on things only to see them come crashing down. Is this the beginning of the end of my plans? Will God tear me away from my uncertainties and lead me to where he wants me? I do not know what to do. I seem to be locked in this career path. The money drawn from my parent's savings, the time invested, the lack of time left, what is it for? I am clueless and stained with tears. Where do I go? Do I abandon all that I have come to? Do I give it all away? Do I sacrifice what was not mine in vain? Another identity crisis. Is money the stumbling block? Do I believe that God can't take care of my laibilities if I abandon this path and go to a different path I think he might have for me? 

Hope still remains. I only have three more chances. If I don't get an internship then I must believe that this is not where I am supposed to be. Perhaps this is a test. My eyes are on you God. Your move.

Life is not easy.

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