11.24.2008

...i walk with eyes closed tight through monuments of grace...

I was in a moment when the world was shut out. Shut out of my mind. It on the outside, I on the inside. What a moment. It was as if the music shut me in, silenced me, brought me in. I was so enclosed in this peaceful area, in time, in space. My pen and the page flicker with inspiration. I find time to be entirely focused, yet entirely free.

So I was at ACCESS which is Northside Baptist's ministry for youth and college people; young adults in general. At this meeting, amongst floods of other thoughts, truths, and emotions, I found a amazing sense of isolation as the band finished their music set list as the rest of the crowd was dismissing. It was such peace and entanglement in the music and the moment and God. How wonderful. How simply wonderful. What peace.

I figured I would crank out a simple blog entry before I finished the last (?) major assignment I had for the semester. I always write in this the instant before I need to do work. Procrastination is productive to blogging. Go figure. Procrastination is my muse! Well that would be a laughable situation I think. I digress...
So I will be living at home next semester and commuting I have decided. I think my parents want to remodel our attic above our garage into a expanded room for myself. I wouldn't mind that. Being at home next semester should be pretty cool. I will save a ton of money and I might perhaps live there next year. I would be able to start saving again which would be awesome. I love my family dearly and really want to get to know them more and be able to help build them up.

Onto something more heavy on my heart. Confusion, indecision, fear, weakness, and uncertainty. Faith, growth, hope, and brokenness. All these things I feel and am experiencing, for better and for worse. As I wonder whether to write what comes next or to simply bottle this all back up inside and leave my mind to the mercy of my thoughts, I do realize that I worry far too much about things. I hide myself from the world at times. I am very free to express my feelings about many things, but I am severely reserved in...certain aspects.
But all other things shall fade away
While love stands alone and still holds sway
All other things shall fade away
Into the ground, into the grave
As I was thinking, this song naturally came up, bringing me to rethink things. This is not the place to talk about this.

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