12.14.2008

...can't find my orbit to save my life...

So I am home. Hallelujah. I was so happy to be in my nice big bed last night and actually able to stretch out all the way without my feet hanging over the edge of my bed. That was nice. I recently kind of got into the habit of like sleeping with the covers over my head. I think because I really like it to be really dark when I am sleeping. Anyways...

Still got a bit of stuff left at the apartment, gotta go clean that stuff out and fix up the bikes and such. I really hope I will be able to write a few good songs this break. I think it would be nice to be able to write some heavy stuff, I just need to actually be able to do that though. Yeah, so basicalyl if anyone wants to like form a band with a heavy Thrice like sound with maybe a little folk mixed in and perhaps some Coheed and Cambria type riffage all having heavy spiritual undertones (without being a "Christian" band)...let me know if that sounds sweet.

I have a phone interview with AXA Equitable tomorrow, hopefully that will go well...first phone interview for me.

Being home is nic, although my parents can be super dysfunctional at times. They really need to step outside their selves sometimes and just look at what they say to each other. It hurts me so much to see them fight. Ugh. But can't we say the same thing for ourselves too? I think for myself I just need to be the same person around all people. I think I get myself overly nervous when I shouldn't be.

Oh I wonder where my life will go. I really have no clue whatsoever where I will be in oh, say four years. I think my worry and nervousness about that has faded only by the grace and power of God. I am certainly excited to see where I will be. Who I will be friends with, if I will be in a relationship or not, where I will be working, what I will be doing, what kind of ministry I will be involved in. Man, who knows. Crazy and greater things are certainly yet to come I think. I actually had an interesting thought cross my mind at church this morning. Jesus didn't begin his ministry until he was like thiry years old, give or take. Not to say that my significant impact on the world through God's work with me won't start until I am "x" number of years old...but man it gives me insight on how short sighted I am. Heck, John The Baptist lived in the wilderness for perhaps most of his life as he grew up (see Luke 1...near the end)...he probably spent at least 15-20 years just living in the wild, growing in the Spirit and in strength before he began his ministry. Crazy stuff. Granted Jesus was God (and man...which I was thinking about the other night and that still blows my mind) and John was basically dubbed as the greatest human ever born of woman by Christ...but man, God can do some crazy and awesome things with people. That being said, I think I (and we all) should look to see what God's awesome plan is for us. Now I really am not a fan of Jeremiah 29:11 (gasp! what a heathen!) mainly because I feel it is taken a little out of context, but that is a different story, but we should look and actively seek the plan and path that God has for us. A great lyric (by none other than Dustin Kensrue) goes "find your faith and dive deep". As I heard that lyric and really honed in on it the first time (I missed it because it kind of is put in a song one might not expect it to be in) I really liked it. It definitely meshes with one of my mottos which is to really dig deep and seek out and analyze truth and God. Well that was much more than I planned on writing, but I hope it can bless someone. Ciao.

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